the other voice
what i hear is resounding and clear. it says :
so he tries to play the "kind role"
so he explains himself
while making no promises.
because he doesn't want to make them anyway.
he's treating me like a fool with his lame reasons he gives and i was letting him.
they say..i deserve better.
each day is like one more gap that sets me away from you ever since the day we part.
when i stop busying myself, it hurts.
but by saying that, its not as if it can change anything.
you're not going to care, to reply, to come back
nor stop the hurt.
but as i let each day pass, it strikes me that one day, the gaps added up together will make me so far away - by then our images will look so small - that it's easier to just stop squinting and close my eyes.
or let the waves and tide come take it all away.
...
secretly i allow myself to think for a second that: "this may be for the better, afterall"
and i see a vicious cycle forming already.
i guess i was kidding myself when i persuaded myself to believe i persuaded myself.
does it make any sense?
yepp, it ain't supposed to.
the only thing that revives is that hope on a string babe. so bad. so so bad its gonna snap, i know.
"we're young, we're fine, let's do some damage."
...
& then you message again, with contents that
now, it just confuses me.
twirling round the edges.
was i the selfish one back then as you said? or were you trying to make yourself feel better?
oh, that's right.
make me carry all the blame & you forgiving me of my so-called faults, & returning to your side.
& now i just feel lost.
maybe love is not my kind of game, but just a glaring weakness.
you laughed when i cried, each time the tide takes our love letters from the sand...
JS says, "dont fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you.."
& that was meant to make me laugh..
i think
not smiling
-----------
looking back, the countdown to 07 had been spent at home.
it was an emo affair, sans loved ones; just the wind coupled with the kind of thoughts that'll only invade sad souls, for company.
no poppers, no alcohol, no fireworks, no laughs.
although this year had all of that and more, i have to admit, it still wasn't what i would call perfect.
nope, no perfectionist here.
but just that i guess (and all of you would agree) it would be much better if we had each other
yes, 07/08, we ought to take a leap.
maybe it might have started out imperfect, but what proof is this on its own?
08 WILL be a fantastic year
yes, lets challenge our cynical voices at the back of our heads.
of course we may screw the resolutions, but lets not limit anything.
Only with this in mind shall the year ahead truly be one heading in the right direction.
with that, let's ring in the new year my friends!
To Improvement & To No Regrets, cheers.
------------------------------------
10:42 PM
