let's start over.
and anew.
with fresh determination.
here's to no regrets.
cheers.
------------------------------------
9:43 AM
you know what...actually, I don't really actually like myself that much...
nothing but a facade
I despise and look down at that face staring blankly back in the mirror
what a bitch.
you're worth nothing you loser.
haha loser face I'm laughing at you.
I am afterall, a girl.
plain Jane who lives down the street, left turn, & left again, & walk another 67steps west.
keep walking and you'll see the house dangling by the cliff that's giving way.
you'll see the rude bitch.
skinny-bitch-wannabe.
2.
strongly feel that I ought to start taking growth hormones and go for plastic surgery and be an air stewardess or something.
I'm freaking sick of whatever I'm doing now.
or rather, more of myself.
should and ought to have taken up the modelling offer then.
3.
I'm fighting...a losing battle
is she not?
4.
It's only March 22 2008
far far FARR away from 5th May 2008
& I'm caught planning my getaway during my break
any other beings interested just text me.
just...
5.
I'm so sweet, I'm going to give you cavities.
6.
who else is not?
[counting off fingers]
it seems like most of them are anyway
it's my turn next
I wonder how it feels to take a long drag
and exhale
7.
at times like these, you just have the mad urge to draw out a knife and chop off their penis
keep your eyes to yourself if you like them the way they are
8.
sleep deprivation.
presented on it, not working on it.
I'm still sleeping past 3am everyday, and waking up at around 6am everyday.
perhaps 7am on weekends.
9.
they're kicking me out of my dorm soon.
alas, sotong queen didn't realise the application was for 08/09 semester 1 as well, till it was 1day before deadline.
& she couldn't log in.
gah.
going to miss that place.
10.
don't like to be led on.
please don't do this...
xoxo,
itsjusther
------------------------------------
11:28 PM
1. MACBOOK!
but she probably won't let me get it (despite it being 4years) until my current laptop catches fire and swear and curse words start sprouting out.
at the same time.
so plain swearing and cursing won't get me anywhere near a MacBook.
damn it. i hate this laptop.
1. it's scary laggy
2. it shuts down on its own
3. it refuses to start up properly (starting up...blank)
4. it malfunctions at all the wrong timings (e.g. while typing my socio mid-term paper, blog entry CA for animal behavior module, uploading fotos)
5. it's freaking heavy
why i love MacBook.
1. it's damn prettyyyy!!!!
2. apple clan!
3. it seems more professional
4. supporter of iTunes/iPods! (it supports like all kind of music files, unlike a certain mp3 that only reads mp3.file and not wma.files)
yes that's shallow of me.
xxx
meanwhile, there's this sociology ethnography that i'm sharing here.
so, here goes:
The above video was taken on 15th March 2008 and the write up based on our observation; what we see, hear, smell, touch.
Done by: Alvin, Gerald, Sara and me
Remarks:
Personally, after attending the event, and being a student here myself, my vision is very much coloured and bias, but from a sociological point of view, the entire event was dramatized. Playing down the less desirable reality, and playing up the little positive prospects and even to the extent of twisting and playing around with words to turn the minus parts into plus points.
Dramatizing of Evil. (making it seems 'ohh-so-good!')
I feel cheated.
xxx
Another individual assignment for Animal Behavior module down.
title topic was: Raccoons - Rascals or Ninjas?
approach: are they cheecky grinning rascals or skillful ninjas of the night?
it was pretty alrightt.
felt that i did the best i can given the limited timeframe.
except that the laptop came down on me just as i was finishing up and refused to start up till an hour later.
so, an hour worth of futile attempts at reviving this pile of...IT stuff.
gah.
xxx
on a final note, i hate going home.
holding on to this freedom dearly.imagine this: projects after projects after projects.
some may take up a longer time than the other, but it comes to the same end that the day is burned, and drained, and no proper work is done.
i cant even study properly and i'm still lagging behind in bio psychology and japanese studies, and japanese language.
despite spending much time on the language, just not good at it.
and what's wrong with msn?
status was evidently changed to 'busy' and even added 'project conference' as personal message, and some ass still start talking to you and all.
happy about some birthday shit.
like i have the time to bother with stupid shit like these.
staying here is probably the best thing.
i can stay up till way past 3am mugging my soul out and wake up the next day at 6am to get ready for school.
at home? it was only near 2am and they started trying to get me to sleep and all.
ruining me.
really ruining me.
i am not going home after this time round.
off my hp and bye bye.projects? there's always email.
------------------------------------
8:14 AM
CONGRATS LYDIAA!! :)
i think u did well!!
'cheers!
but a twist in the turn of events.
1.
Granduncle passed away.
stomach cancer.
by the time they found out, terminal stage.
the shock came more from this than him...
2.bees angry bees at my hostel block
as in a whole swarmp of them like in those cartoons?
3.
bro cooked 3 different meals for me on Friday night
French toast, egg fried rice, fusilli with tomato sauce base & hotdogs.
4.
Psychology career talk 2008enlightened confused. more than ever.
kismet.
5.
this person drew a doodle of me in the library
"your lovely smile & posture inspired me to high arts."
& that's pretty much it.
below are fotos of the grocery trip with bro, & the french toast, fried rice & pasta he cooked.
& the angry bees outside my dorm.
------------------------------------
2:49 PM
