walking around with a pin stuck in my head
oh the sign is missing
must have been so stupid as to lost it
to lost the sign saying 'stupid stupid me'
how stupid

-BIG SIGH-

Right.
today's the killer day.
3 papers in a day - morning, afternoon, evening
[yawn]
Been sleeping late for the past couple of weeks, but felt really saturated this week. It's so frustrating that nothing's going in. stayed up all night, nothing.


anyway..just feel so stupid
1. Econs
- 40 MCQs + 4 DRQs (2hrs)
didnt managed to finish the drqs..4 marks & i know how to do those qns
but anyone who was still writing, student card will be confiscated, & person will face expulsion
i stopped

2. Singapore Society
- 3 essays (2hrs)
goner. it's a sociology module, but my answers were like..writing GP essays.. no sociology theories or whatsoever.. flunk

3. Psychology
- 100MCQs + 5 1-page essays (2hrs)
did i mentioned that i got B- for my term paper? sounds like a decent grade, till i saw the next line: average/mode A-
majority got A- for their term paper & thus that's the average, & once again, i'm below average
while waiting for the doors to open, people around me were cramming psychology facts & rehearsing to themselves
me? stood there, stoned, wondering what the hell i was doing there with all the A- people. so shouldnt be taking psychology when i can't even keep up with the rest.. ought to seriously reconsider my options..

4. SouthAsian
- 3 essays (2hrs)
personally, i felt that this paper was pretty alright, except that it seems i'm underwriting for all my papers. people were asking for extra papers & were still scribbling frantically towards the end
myself... have extra paper leftover & 15mins to stone


so far...that's what i'd been through
& more to come
or rather, 1 more to go


i've learned something from this.
Lester came up to me after Singapore Society exam today, & talked a little.
he said something like this: first year right? take it easy..first sem only..no worries..hopefuly the bell curve will save us...take care & good luck..

thought i'll feel really relieve & happy at the end of the day.
but all depressed over my papers
screwed up big time
didn't even give 100% effort more like 50% & less
this won't do
i made a mistake
need to formulate a new strategy for the next sem
anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new
hopefully the bell curve (whatever that is) will save us


ohyesh. something random. about my dear boy. had this dream last night while dozing off over psychology textbk.
was at this chapter about children development, & was scribbling down my toddlers & little thinkers' names next to each stage that children go through so that i'll rmb better...& then dozed off
& yes, i dreamt about my little JunFong!
miss him so much! cried when i woke up. i wished i never woke up. but then again, wouldnt had study psychology
but it was such a nice dream..didnt even get to say bye-bye to him properly when we moved.
this is getting so emotional
i miss his teddy-bear-at-the-rear denim shorts with his elmo t-shirt! T.T
miss playing with him, trying to take pictures of him, playing hide-&-seek etc..


final note:

can't wait for holidays to arrive!
to meet up with my girls!!! all of them! pri sch + sec sch + guides + jj + tuition class
holiday dearr?? are we still on? Bintan!! :)
vacation!!!
i'm all excited already
though there's still the part that i dread..anyhow, i'm not going to go out with him anymore. not alone. really offended over the last time.
not going to happen again.

bro's going chalet for 3D2N! right on the day my exams end! yeaa! the house to myself for 3 days! sleeeep & eattt!! tvvv!! cartoons are all mine! CSI! DVD maranthon! yeaaaa!
can't wait can't wait!
i want my girls & my vacation now! :)))))))
good food + good company! someone drag me go cycling & sweat off those sick fats!
beach + sun + good music all day long! + ur digicam, we're going to capture the beautiful moments! hearts!

how i wish time can fast fwd this instant and we can skip the nasty exams
"it'll be all over soon then we can all have time to breathe," i said.
"shall we go Bintan?" you asked.
"yes pls! we so deserve it!" i said.
okayy maybe not me. gah.
stop feeling upset & move on already.
work harder next sem & push everything up!