because, i'll learn

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...


Veronica A. Shoffstall

& that's...something that i had told myself repeatedly, time & again.
i ought to write this down somewhere..
many times, i came here & write, & delete.
& write, & delete again.
a palimpsest of afterthoughts & sudden revelations

is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, & finding out that you love someone right after that person has walked out of your life.

sometimes you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them, just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.

for some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person, but for others it's holding on to that special feeling as long as possible before it fades away.

most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love.
love is always present...
it's just that one was being loved too much & the other wasn't being loved enough.
we all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right.

most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just a pass time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

this is a piece of advice someone gave me: let go when you are hurting too much. give up when you or the other believes love isn't enough, & move on when things are not like before. there is someone out there who will honestly love you, & only then will you know true love.

这感觉已经不对, 我努力在挽回, 你却微笑的离我而去, 我最后才了解

when your hand slipped through past mine
when your eyes ran from mine
when you no longer hold me close to you & your heart
i know, i shouldnt force it upon you
& so, once again, afraid to love. again.

maybe i should treat this as a figment.
& suddenly all i want now's to stop the cynicism and maybe start feeling really happy.

kiss goodbye
paper heart